Advice to My Children from Their Dad #1

I have, on occasion, reminded my oldest daughter that I am trying to teach her how to act, live, and do things because one day, I will be gone. Her reply is usually an inquisitive (and somewhat concerned), “Gone?” No, I don’t tell her that so she can wrestle with the idea of my mortality. I tell her this because I expect that one day, she will be able to be a self-sufficient, independent adult and live her life to the fullest. That’s why my wife and I teach her and her siblings how to clean their rooms, feed the cat, make their beds, and to pick up their toys. But there beyond how to act, there’s one of many pieces of advice I will continue to instill in them as they get older.

“Be intentional.”

This was told to me when I was a teenager as I was getting ready to move up to Minnesota for college. To me, it didn’t mean “Ian, you better know what you’re doing…”. It means to never find myself somewhere or in a some state I didn’t plan on. As in, don’t look around and wonder how you got to where you are in life because your heart and mind were on autopilot. It means that no matter where I go in life, my choices should have led me somewhere. Of course, not everything is in my control and I may be forced into a place in life I didn’t expect. But how I respond to life’s unpredictability is an intentional choice. For example:

• If I want to prevent a heart attack at age 45, I should intentionally choose to stop eating instant ramen noodles.
• If I want to be prepared for retirement, I should intentionally choose to save for it today.
• If I want to stay in shape, I should intentionally choose to ride my bike to more more often.

Alternatively, not finding myself in an undesirable state in the future means picking the path towards what I want. This leads to more satisfaction in my day-to-day life. For example:

• Rather than wake up one day and realize my beard is really long, I should be confident in my choice to grow it out.
• Rather than find that I’m working an unfulfilling job at some point in the future, I should make intentional career choices early and find joy in what I do now.
• Rather than look at my grown children in the future and wonder how they got big so fast, I should make the moments I have with them now intentional and be as present as I can be for them.

So here is what I will continue to teach my children in various ways as the years go on:

“Kids, I hope you understand that life is short and some of your choices may have take years for you to see the consequences. So from this point on, be intentional in everything you do. You’ll find your future will be much happier.”

What do you think? What advice have you received that’s helped shape your life? Leave a comment below!