Advice to My Children From Their Dad #2

I don’t necessarily think talking too much is something my kids struggle with now. But while they’re young, I want to instill in them good social skills. That’s why I’ve taking more of a “nip it in the bud” approach to meeting new people.

“It’s better to keep your mouth shut and let people think you’re a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.”

I’m sure you might argue that this is all about image and people’s perceptions of each other. But there’s a deeper meaning I’ve applied to my own interactions. To me, I’ve always taken this meaning away: think before you speak.

Why It Matters

I honestly don’t even remember who I heard this from. However, I know I was told this when I was around 13. This is the kind of statement that I think is easy to read than practice. Mostly in public settings when I go to large gatherings where I have to mingle and socialize. As a teenager, this was especially hard. Looking as pictures of myself shows just how awkward and gangly I was. Back then, talking to other human beings and trying to make a good impression as all about acceptance. A lot of my self-worth was based on many people I believed liked me. That included adults who would listen to whatever I had to say, even if I was just being a know-it-all.

Being an adult is different. Meeting new people, whether they’re coworkers, friends, or distant family, isn’t about being a good person for your sake. It’s about valuing them enough to hold your tongue, listening, and validating them. Think of it like this. When you meet someone new and they start giving you unsolicited advice or opinions, they aren’t introducing themselves. That’s their stump speech, giving you enough information to decide if you like or trust them. That’s how I thought I could get people to like me when I was younger. Trying to rattle off information isn’t impressive. In fact, you may be invalidating someone without knowing it. Or just annoying them.

Final Thoughts

So instead, instead of making a stand right away, listen first. Ask open-ended questions. Show that someone is valuable by listening to their story. You’ll make a better first impression.